Hard Things

“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.” 2 Nephi 2:11

At church recently, we were talking about how trials and hardships are part of life. The reasons for these challenges can range from our own choices, the choices of others, or just the natural process of life.

I can remember being asked this question when I was around 20 years old while serving my mission for the Church. I felt like I had a good answer then. When people would ask questions like, why does life have to be hard? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does my father have to suffer? Why did my husband keep losing his job? What did my wife get sick? There were many many questions.

I would tell people that God has a plan and that there is a reason. I felt comfortable with my response, and I really hoped it would help them. Yet, at 20 years old I didn’t have the life experience I do now almost twenty years later. I am still learning, and my understanding is continually deepening. Although, if I could go back and speak to them again I would give them a little more.

If I could simplify all of the questions into one, it would be why does life have to be hard for me. I am sure that most people have or will have asked this question at some time in their life. Only in asking this question to a loving Heavenly Father, and seeking guidance the written and spoken words of ancient and modern prophets do I better understand the answer to this question.

Jumping back to my recent church meeting, I shared how there is a parallel between our lives and what you might find in a favorite book or movie. Take a moment and think about your favorite book or movie. Who is the main character? I love the Harry Potter series. Harry is definitely one of my favorite characters. He is the hero in the story. He has definitely had a hard life. His parents were killed when he was a baby. He had to live with relatives who didn’t really care about him, and was continually trying to be killed by Voldemort or his followers. Because he cared for those around him he constantly put himself in danger to protect them. He fought a giant snake to protect Ginny Weasley, rushed to the aide of his godfather who was under attack several times, and many others. By the end of the book his godfather dies, several of his mentors dies, and so do many of his friends. He also get picked on because he is different. He definitely had it rough. Some of the trials were a result of his own choices, other came from the choices of others, and some were just part of life.

What happens to this story if we remove all the conflict? It stops. It doesn’t go anywhere. He no longer the boy who lived or the chosen one. He’s just a boy with no story. He hasn’t changed, grown or developed.

Let me connect the fictional story back to real life. Why does life have to be so hard for you? If it wasn’t your story doesn’t exist. You can’t grow. You can’t develop. You can’t change. It’s like a muscle in your body. If you want to get stronger, you have to exercise. Your muscles need resistance.

One of the great blessings of this life that might be full of trials is that we have a support network. We have friends, family, and church leaders. They are all on this same journey with us. We need to be better at reaching out to each other and being the kind of supporting characters in another person’s story so that they can make it through those moments of hardship. In any good story, there is a moment when the hero can’t see a way forward and thinks that all hope is lost. At that moment, hope and help come from some outside force. We can be that outside force for others.

That is one way that a loving God helps His children. He sends us to help. But even more important that this is that He sent His son, Jesus Christ. He understands every trial and hardship we will ever experience. He has triumphed and succeeded. He will lift us, support us, and even carry us when we can walk no further. He will strengthen. He loves you.

Sometimes life is hard because it is life. Maybe someone else's actions are impacting you, or there are things in you life that are causing the trial. Know that you can find help and strength for all.